‘This Is Us’ Quote To Remember On a Hard Parenting Day
“Until the day is over, there’s always a chance you’ll remember it for something else.” - Rebecca Pearson
As a stay-at-home mother, being at home often feels monotonous. Everyday begins the same. You wake up at the same hour. Make the same three breakfasts for your kids. Then you have to patiently nudge them to finish their morning tasks so you can get out the door to reach school drop off on time. If we starts a task a minute too late, it throws off the whole routine. It’s amazing how time moves fast when you need it to move slow or vice versa.
The other day (a Tuesday), it was particularly difficult. I snoozed my 6 am alarm, which meant my kids woke me up. For me, if I don’t wake up on my own, I am grumpy. This day also happened to be the first day after my parents left from visiting us for a week. I was thrust into a chaotic morning when just the day before I had two extra sets of arms to help me get my kids fed and ready to start their day. I was off. I was annoyed. I was lonely in my care of small children.
With this grumpy attitude, I made two breakfasts (my oldest gets his cereal on his own). I packed a lunch. I moved Nolan along our morning timeline of—go potty, eat breakfast, get dressed, get socks on, brush teeth, comb hair—then out the door with the younger brothers in tow and in their pajamas. After we scrambled out the door, we made it to school with 5 minutes to spare tardiness, I texted my husband the following:
After I got home with my two youngest kids, I remember calling my parents (who were driving home at the time), joking that they needed to turn back to my house. My mood stayed down at home as I worked around my kids to get the house back in order after my parents visit. That meant sorting laundry, dishes, the usual after visitors leave routine. By this time, I learned my husband wouldn’t be home until after bedtime. It was a full day for me to solo parent from 6 am through 8pm. I felt so off emotionally. I even called my best friend to vent about my mood. I needed things to shift.
Once my youngest went down for his nap (around 1030/11 am), I decided to burn a stick of Palo Santo. Burning candles or Palo Santo gives my mind an active thing to focus on when I’m feeling overwhelmed. It’s a visual reset for me.
It helped as I moved on to my afternoon tasks—picking up dog poop, watering outside plants, making lunches, working out, and showering. Once complete and my youngest woke, it was time haul the kids back in the car for school pick up before 3pm. Does anyone else experience extreme lethargy between 2 and 4 pm? It’s not just me, right? By the time I returned home with all three kids, I was beat. When this slump hits I opt for the kids to do one of three things (or all three): 1. Play outside 2. Take a bath 3. Watch a movie
The boys chose to bike ride around the cul-de-sac while I sat in my chair eating goldfish attempting to read a chapter of a book on my Kindle.
Even outside, I remember my mood was still stilted. I pride myself on being routine oriented. It helps me accomplish a lot in my day. It’s how I’m able to successfully be in six bookclubs without missing a discussion meeting each month. My time management is also how I’ve consistently worked out 4 days a week for the last 9 years. The downfall to this systematic way of living is I struggle with staying present. My mind is always one step ahead to ensure that I don’t miss an upcoming plan.
For instance, while my sons were riding their bikes, I kept my eye on the clock knowing we only had 40 minutes left until I needed to start making dinner. If I start cooking too late it means the nighttime routine will start later, equally a late bedtime. Typically, my husband is home for dinner so he takes lead on bedtimes. But on this day, it would be all me. It would be on me to make the meal, plate the meal, facilitate the eating process, clean up dishes, get the kids ready for bed, read the stories, do tucks in and say the prayers.
Instead of enjoying my kids playing happily outside, my mind was constructing our evening. With each item on my mental “to-do” droplets of dread dispersed. My mood soured. Resentment cemented.
I don’t remember what we ate that night, but I do remember feeling exhausted once the plates were cleared. I remember thinking, I’m not having fun. I’m having a bad day. My mood is affecting everyone’s mood. Something had to change.
Instead of turning on the TV to give myself a mental break, I turned on our kitchen speaker. I played my sons’ favorite song right now—from the movie “Sing,” Johnny’s version of “I’m Still Standing.” I turned up the volume and we danced.
We didn’t stop at that song, I took requests and played more songs. We sang at the top of our lungs with our version of mix-matched lyrics. The boys showed off their fight dancing moves and reenacted the scene from “Sing 2” where Johnny performs “A Sky Full of Stars.” I ended the dance session by introducing the Whitney Houston classic “I Want To Dance With Somebody.” I belted out the lyrics as I twirled each of my boys. My voice was horse by the end. My hairline damp with sweat. That dance party rejuvenated me. I finally felt connected to my kids and myself as their mother.
The dance party was the ultimate reset.
I’m not sure if my kids will remember this day or specific dance party. I hope I remember this Tuesday as the day I taught my sons’ my favorite dance song. Maybe, it will even be the mother-son song I dance to at one of their weddings? I hope one lesson my kids learn from me is when you’re having a bad day, dance it out.
Because, “Until the day is over, there’s always a chance you’ll remember it for something else.” - Rebecca Pearson
This Tuesday was the day my kids danced to Whitney for the first time.